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Continued from Part 1

Step 2. Accept reality as it is.

To accept reality as it is means to be 100% tolerant of how things are, good or bad, without judgment or the desire for it to be any other way. Judgment of your current reality creates separation from it, because you are condemning it as bad and unacceptable. Judgment also creates resistance. Hating how things are and wondering why it isn’t a different way prevents you from living in the present, because you are fighting against the truth of now. Fully accepting reality, no matter how painful facing your fear may be, will give you the mental clarity and emotional strength to grow and move on.

I’ve found meditation to be a very powerful healing tool here. When you can get yourself into a deeper state of consciousness, you can begin to experience the more subtle sensations of your body and discover where the roots of your pain lie. Our minds like to exaggerate things through imagination. If we have pain, it will blow it up to be bigger than it actually is, adding mentally created pain to the initially independent physical sensations of pain. We can greatly reduce the suffering that we experience by isolating the self-created psychological pain from the physical.

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They say that it takes at least a year to heal from serious heartbreak.

I’ve found this to be true… but only initially.

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Recovering from my first long-term relationship was rough. Like most people suffering from heartbreak, I carelessly allowed my imagination to spiral out of control. My mind would create hurtful thoughts that were never based on facts, but on pure speculation. For example, if a picture of the ex with some new guy popped up on Facebook, my mind would instantly trigger jealous thoughts and begin to dream up scenarios of what could have been going on behind my back. Life loses its magic when your own mind starts cutting you down.

Our minds truly are double-edged swords. During happy times, it will make you believe that you’re an invincible king, but when disappointment shows up, it will backstab you with doubt, unnecessary suffering and self-hatred. Clearly, our minds are not always acting in our best interest, so it’s a good idea to not attach your identity to it. The good news is that we are not at the mercy of our minds, but rather, it is at the mercy of our will and attention. We are always free to let go of old, destructive belief systems and replace them with positive ones that will help us grow. Although most people operate on thought-autopilot, we are actually in full control because only we can choose where we place our mind’s focus. Our minds can only create painful thoughts and a negative reality when we give it the fuel and permission to do so. Read the rest of this entry »

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