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Continued from Part 4

Step 5. Remember to continue trusting life

Life never functions in a predictable linear path. However when fear kicks in, the ego will use its logic to try to keep you permanently down with “proof” that life will always be the way it is now.

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The ego has no real grasp of how our future will unfold. This is because what the mind knows, only comes from the data it has accumulated up until now. It can only pull from this information and is constantly creating projections of the future based on past patterns. Much like a corporation forecasting earnings for the next 10 years, the ego will also create a perfectly linear projection. But life never works in this way. Life is mysterious, and it is the unknown that allows for progress to occur exponentially. Good examples of this are the thousands of rags to riches tales such as Oprah, J.K. Rowling, Steve Jobs etc.

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The heart on the other hand communicates with all of existence, as our eternal souls are tied to the eternal God/Infinite Intelligence/All That Is. Being connected to All That Is, our intuitive guide has infinite organizing power. It has the higher view to bring forth what we desire in the timing that is necessary to facilitate the challenges and growth we must experience. The heart always knows where we must go next to progress along our path. Learning its language and then committing to always saying Yes to its call will lead to fulfillment and a magical unfolding of life. Read the rest of this entry »

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Continued from Part 3

Step 4. Self-love

When dealing with emotional pain, we tend to teeter from blaming others to self-blame. We tell ourselves things like “Why was I so dumb to let that happen?” “Why did/didn’t I do that?” “What’s wrong with me?!”

UCB-fail (1)Every experience with failure, whether from work or relationships, creates vulnerability to negative self-talk. Failures are failed expectations. Expectations arise from having a personal attachment to the outcome. So, when things don’t turn out the way that we want, it becomes easy to start crushing our self-worth and doubting ourselves.

Only self-love can shield you from a stream of self-hating thoughts. Even if you are showered with abundant love and support from others during your time of need, the strength of your self-esteem still comes down to what you belief about yourself. The greater the self-love you possess, the more you will be unfazed by the difficulties life throws at you.

Self-love is a knowingness, meaning that you know and accept the totality of who you are. Unconditional self-love leads to an oneness with yourself, allowing you to be authentically you. To have knowingness of oneself eliminates doubt. Doubt is the small hole in the protective wall of your mind that allows negativity to enter and establish permanent residence there. Read the rest of this entry »

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Continued from Part 2

Step 3. Allow yourself to fully express your emotions

We have been conditioned to believe that tears and sadness is a sign of weakness. Men are taught to not show emotions, and thus when these “weak” emotions appear, the natural instinct is to try to ignore or suppress it at all costs.

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This is a huge flaw in how we learned to treat ourselves. This is because suppressing emotion is the denial of emotion. A denial of emotion is the denial of reality, because emotions only exist in the present moment. Read the rest of this entry »

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Continued from Part 1

Step 2. Accept reality as it is.

To accept reality as it is means to be 100% tolerant of how things are, good or bad, without judgment or the desire for it to be any other way. Judgment of your current reality creates separation from it, because you are condemning it as bad and unacceptable. Judgment also creates resistance. Hating how things are and wondering why it isn’t a different way prevents you from living in the present, because you are fighting against the truth of now. Fully accepting reality, no matter how painful facing your fear may be, will give you the mental clarity and emotional strength to grow and move on.

I’ve found meditation to be a very powerful healing tool here. When you can get yourself into a deeper state of consciousness, you can begin to experience the more subtle sensations of your body and discover where the roots of your pain lie. Our minds like to exaggerate things through imagination. If we have pain, it will blow it up to be bigger than it actually is, adding mentally created pain to the initially independent physical sensations of pain. We can greatly reduce the suffering that we experience by isolating the self-created psychological pain from the physical.

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Read the rest of this entry »

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They say that it takes at least a year to heal from serious heartbreak.

I’ve found this to be true… but only initially.

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Recovering from my first long-term relationship was rough. Like most people suffering from heartbreak, I carelessly allowed my imagination to spiral out of control. My mind would create hurtful thoughts that were never based on facts, but on pure speculation. For example, if a picture of the ex with some new guy popped up on Facebook, my mind would instantly trigger jealous thoughts and begin to dream up scenarios of what could have been going on behind my back. Life loses its magic when your own mind starts cutting you down.

Our minds truly are double-edged swords. During happy times, it will make you believe that you’re an invincible king, but when disappointment shows up, it will backstab you with doubt, unnecessary suffering and self-hatred. Clearly, our minds are not always acting in our best interest, so it’s a good idea to not attach your identity to it. The good news is that we are not at the mercy of our minds, but rather, it is at the mercy of our will and attention. We are always free to let go of old, destructive belief systems and replace them with positive ones that will help us grow. Although most people operate on thought-autopilot, we are actually in full control because only we can choose where we place our mind’s focus. Our minds can only create painful thoughts and a negative reality when we give it the fuel and permission to do so. Read the rest of this entry »

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