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Once upon a time there was a cute little T-bone named Steak.

Steak was fresh to the world. He came from the Prime lineage and had unlimited potential on what he could become.

hi. I'm not delicious yet.

hi. I’m not delicious yet.

He could have taken Japanese classes and grown into a tasty Teriyaki-San, with a nice surprise kick at the end.

karatesteak

Sweep the leg. You’re the best around.

He could have taken Salsa lessons with Señor Pepper and turned into one smokin’ hot fajita.

chilisteak

Bailamos! Let the rhythm take you over Bailamos!

He also could have taken the easy way out and followed the mindless path 9/10 steaks take to A.1. School.

a1

“A.1.– for all those steaks who were overcooked in their youth and never tried to make it into culinary school.

Instead Steak was smothered by his overprotective step-mother Rosemary.

She wouldn’t let him do anything.

She was afraid that Steak would get burned later in life and be responsible for cancer, heart attacks, and other murderous acts.

thuglife

You don’t want any beef with this mofo.

Rosemary knew that the only way to protect Steak from the allure of the infamous Carcinogen Gang was if she rubbed off on him.

Agents of Death

Agents of Death

Only by drilling her rosmarinic acid and carnosic acid antioxidant wisdom into Steak until it became a part of his DNA, could her antioxidants fully shield him from the peer pressure of the Carcinogen Gang, especially when things got really heated.

Rosemary was determined to raise Steak unlike other beef to save him from falling to the Dark (and crispy) Side.

So she did what any obsessively-worrying mother would do.

Steak was homeschooled. Read the rest of this entry »

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Yes it looks very girly, but this DVD changed my life.

crunch-pyblend

 

 

 

I threw out my lower back during my senior year in high school. It was the morning of the Homecoming dance, and I had over slept. I jumped out of bed and immediately began washing my car. Being parked on a sloped driveway, I was forced to vacuum and soap the entire car hunched over. That’s my back suddenly gave out and I collapsed onto the concrete. I couldn’t move. Luckily however, my dad had just completed his acupuncture training and was able to patch me up in time to make it to the dance.

neo_3

Yah… something like this.

Over the next five years I suffered from chronic lower back pain. I couldn’t sit for longer than a few minutes without having to shift positions.

I tried physical therapy. It didn’t help.

At the gym I focused more on working out my back and abs. Still nothing.

I had just about given up on the idea of regaining a normal range of motion when I stumbled into the movie section in the Santa Barbara public library one summer and found this yoga DVD.  Read the rest of this entry »

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